Mars Hoax

This is an e-mail hoax, started right after the 2003 closest sighting. I didn't Snope this, I'm sorry.

Something to look forward to this summer.

Mars The Red Planet is about to be spectacular! This month and next, Earth is catching up with Mars in an encounter that will culminate in the closest approach between the two planets in recorded history. The next time Mars may come this close is in 2287. Due to the way Jupiter's gravity tugs on Mars and perturbs its orbit, astronomers can only be certain that Mars has not come this close to Earth in the Last 5,000 years, but it may be as long as 60,000 years before it happens again. The encounter will culminate on August 27Th when Mars comes to within 34,649,589 miles of Earth and will be (next to the moon) the brightest object in the night sky. It will attain a magnitude of -2.9and will appear 25.11 arc seconds wide. At a modest75-power magnification Mars will look as large as the full moon to the naked eye. Mars will be easy to spot. At the beginning of August it will rise in the east at 10p.m. and reach its azimuth at about 3 a.m. By the end of August when the two planets are closest, Mars will rise at nightfall and reach its highest point in the sky at 12:30a.m. That's pretty convenient to see something that no human being has seen in recorded history. So, mark your calendar at the beginning of August to see Mars grow progressively brighter and brighter throughout the month. Share this with your children and grandchildren.

NO ONE ALIVE TODAY WILL EVER SEE THIS AGAIN

Cocoon.

So. I think I want an Ipod. Some of you wonder what planet I've traveled from? Some of you have no clue of what I speak? I've been researching and have decided I have no idea what I'm up to. So. Your input would be great. What do you have right now and what do you wish you had that might be better? Should I wait until Verizon offers Iphone? Should I wait until September when Apple updates Ipod? My girlfriend in California is harassing me to get with it. She swears I will be a much better person with one. My text messaging is starting to get fuzzy for me. When are they gong to offer bigger print for those? OK FINE, I'll get glasses. Drat, darn, poop. Shit, if you really want to know. If I order one from Apple I get free engraving. THAT makes me giggle. If I order one from Wal-Mart I get a choice of 3 options from a bundle package. Best Buy doesn't give me squat. I did go right to the Apple products. Anyone else make them better, bigger, new and improved?

Pigs in Paradise Pokes

Some people just crack me up. Thank God. That and my concealed weapons license has lapsed. okokok just kidding, really. I love this planet, just hope it stays glued together until they yank me off of it. I am not humble just stupid. This is where I'm going for my next vacation. Right here. I've always wanted to come back as a pig, now they have their own island, something I've strived to aquire for myself. They have mud bath spa days, on demand. They always have curly tails. They are forever shapely. They are smart, very smart. They have cute shoes, Comemon....those are peep toes. All their babies are adorable and they mind. AND THEY ARE PINK and they have fun. Then when it's all said and done....you're bacon. Everybody loves bacon. Live Love Laugh Lots.

NEFARIOUS

There is a Latin crime in there somewhere. I think it sounds like a village in a pure forest of elves. Yes, tis true I am Princess LOrion from Nefarious. It did however pop it's evil little self into my horoscope for today. I am notoriously regaling on any possibilities of conspiracy so when I am handed permission to beware of "nefarious plans" I will run with it. The word just makes me giggle. Something you would catch the 'wizard' trying to get away with behind that big scary curtain. It's a fun word. But I guess as the stars have alerted me it is my responsibility to pay some attention if Snidely Whiplash knocks on the door. Until then I'm going to root around in these just to make sure there are no gangsta bugs running amok.

East Bound Bees.

We're flying home to Florida today and these will be my travel companions. Someday...........

I intend to get caught in my pajamas.

Money is a powerful aphrodisiac but flowers work almost as well.
Robert Heinlein 1907-1988

A bit of fragrance clings to the hand that gives flowers.

Chinese Proverb

Jade Ladies

Modern. Old World. That's what I am....Old World, as long as it means something really cool. Great stuff to be said on both accounts though, I suppose. I know I can't be modern because I hear my Mom saying something about crap music but in my voice??? I guess that's all right too. I'm not a country western music kindna fan.
Even with y'all insisting it's so purty and modern too. All I hear is your dog has fleas. I've been to a Metallica concert....oh well of course not by choice but hey hold on there a minute pardner. I have to admit....witness to some very major talent with Metallica. I love Bocelli, can't take me anywhere.

The very dark green Jade Lady was purchased in Japan. 1954.
The very pale green Jade Lady was purchased in Hong Kong. 1985.

Girls are Sneaky.

My Aunt used to say that a lot when I was a kid. It always pissed me off. Of course at 13, I think a bunch of almost everything pissed me off. I was on a planet of........oh crap, I have no idea but for sure I was on the wrong one. I have two cousins that, well, that's not even right. There are more cousins but they came later so are much younger so don't count. When you grow up around a boy cousin, 2 years younger and a girl cousin 5 years younger the unfamiliar little ones hundreds of miles away, don't count. Sorry, when you're 10 years old, those are the rules. My Aunt was THE best person in all the world to try and squirt some sense into us. Ketchup to be precise. Boy cousin and myself, we'll call him Peter, were best buddies until we weren't then someone could get close to dead. We both picked on the girl cousin, we'll call her Davia until it was getting out of hand then I'd try to kill the boy cousin, oh yeah, Peter. Seems pretty balanced to me. We were at the beach. Every Day my AWESOME AUNT would drag us all to the beach. Peter being an Aquarian also was very smart, probably why we were so sympatico. Sometimes he would to my surprise, turn into a complete idiot at which time it was my responsibility to kill him. Mostly my AWESOME AUNT thought we bickered alot. We really did not. I think it was Aquarian speak. I can see however that a heated intellectual discussion between two smart kids ages 9 and 11 could drive a normally AWESOME AUNT to calmly pick up the ketchup bottle off the picnic table at the beach and squirt her son in the chest with it. I was speechless. So was Davia. So was Peter. Please take a moment to sit quietly and think with me....while my AWESOME AUNT picks up the mustard and shoots me. I was speechlesser. No words.... and Peter picks up the abandoned ketchup weapon and blasts his mother. It honestly does take other world time warp slow-mo for complete pandemonium to break out. It was WAR.

West Bound

Off to San Diego to see Little Miss Phaedra. Ruler of all the world, she who must be obeyed, Oh yes and of course my daughters. Makes me miss my parents all the more. We were passing the San Diego airport once when my oldest daughter was 4 and she announced she wanted to see Grammie and PaPa. It took me 20 minutes to figure out she thought they lived there. Phaedra is 15 months old now, I'm sure she'll have the drop on me within 3 minutes of arrival. I'm taking my vitamins and something to bribe her with. Bon Voyage to me, Happy Days for you.

Truly Small

Two story shopping. I wanted to ride in the cart. I think this looks like something foreign. Such a very small world. We had the use of a business associates condo for the holiday weekend and bumped into a young girl that used to waitress at a restaurant very close to where we live. She has been stateside for 2 weeks, just back from one and a half years in Holland. We haven't seen her for 3 years. We live 80 miles from this condo. Somebody much more qualified than myself do this math for me AND EXPLAIN??? I spoke to her boyfriend while entering the pool, he has an eyebrow ring, I asked him about it. She came over later and asked me if mine hurt while getting pierced. I didn't recognize her. She did me but wasn't sure so came over, started a conversation and immediately knew my voice but not why. LATER, all in the pool together, they came over started chatting, asked us where we were from. Jill, it was Jill. I couldn't believe it. Still hard to wrap my pea-brain around. While telling us the living of their beach world she mentioned a two story grocery store and wondered if you had to pay at upper and lower registers. I had that answer.

oh sorry......San Diego, CA. Target.

Here Comes The Bribe.

My cousins in the middle? Went to girls lunch out and then a movie today. Will definitely bribe Mr. Frank into going for an evening show and dinner. We wandered upstairs to take a peek and got a grand tour. Very very nice.

The Proposal.

Sunrise

.......................................Sunset

Home Home Home and a lovely time was had by all. We have decided to liquidate our entire portfolio and move to a condo on the beach. Dreams. We would have to trade in our 'quarter jars', his says for beer, mine says for shoes. Laundry Room. Yeah, maybe we will think on this a bit more. Getting that boat for the 'round the world' once in a lifetime would have reduced us to the laundry room too. What is going to happen when the end is near? I'm beginning to have looming visions of the bag lady in me. There she goes, that old woman and her bag of quarters.

I believe we might be in for a soggy 4th of July and that's just all right by me. We'll have a condo on the beach. Let it rain spurt all it wants. Mad dashes to the pool. Races down the beach. Going to finish packing, we leave as early as possible in the morning. We leave as early as I can be rousted. Think I'll take a book. Meet you back here on the 7th. Happy 4th to all, I hope you are all safe and sparkly.

After the supervisor and I were finished napping I took care of some very old files. Some stuff of old that brought me pensive. Papers as far back as 2002. Old thoughts from back then and feeling sad for Reya. I miss him too. They both brought comfort. So my bon fire was purging for me on more than one level. I am that kid with a stick for hours in the camp fire. Militant pyro, there is never room for more than one fire tender. Made sure Ginger didn't get hot, had the hose handy but knew this was unnecessary as it had just finished pouring. Let her rip.

Not letting a perfectly good burn go to waste, we gathered up some soggy chairs and a soaked table and stuck a couple of ready made fireplace logs in the pit.