Saturday, July 11, 2009

Girls are Sneaky.

My Aunt used to say that a lot when I was a kid. It always pissed me off. Of course at 13, I think a bunch of almost everything pissed me off. I was on a planet of........oh crap, I have no idea but for sure I was on the wrong one. I have two cousins that, well, that's not even right. There are more cousins but they came later so are much younger so don't count. When you grow up around a boy cousin, 2 years younger and a girl cousin 5 years younger the unfamiliar little ones hundreds of miles away, don't count. Sorry, when you're 10 years old, those are the rules. My Aunt was THE best person in all the world to try and squirt some sense into us. Ketchup to be precise. Boy cousin and myself, we'll call him Peter, were best buddies until we weren't then someone could get close to dead. We both picked on the girl cousin, we'll call her Davia until it was getting out of hand then I'd try to kill the boy cousin, oh yeah, Peter. Seems pretty balanced to me. We were at the beach. Every Day my AWESOME AUNT would drag us all to the beach. Peter being an Aquarian also was very smart, probably why we were so sympatico. Sometimes he would to my surprise, turn into a complete idiot at which time it was my responsibility to kill him. Mostly my AWESOME AUNT thought we bickered alot. We really did not. I think it was Aquarian speak. I can see however that a heated intellectual discussion between two smart kids ages 9 and 11 could drive a normally AWESOME AUNT to calmly pick up the ketchup bottle off the picnic table at the beach and squirt her son in the chest with it. I was speechless. So was Davia. So was Peter. Please take a moment to sit quietly and think with me....while my AWESOME AUNT picks up the mustard and shoots me. I was speechlesser. No words.... and Peter picks up the abandoned ketchup weapon and blasts his mother. It honestly does take other world time warp slow-mo for complete pandemonium to break out. It was WAR.

8 comments:

  1. OMG. that is amazing! be fore warned as enticing as it may seem, relish does not squirt very well so go for one of the others! lol.

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  2. FOOD FIGHT!!!!

    those used to be fun, once upon a time... :p

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  3. i dumped a can of soda on my nephew once...talk about a speechless kid! but his mom wasn't too impressed.

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  4. I absolutely know that feeling of wanting to squirt ketchup on a 9 and 11 year old. :-)

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  5. I think squirting condiments on children would be fun . . . Maybe I'll try it at lunch today . . .

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  6. I fully expected you to say you and Peter made a sandwich of Davia ... this is much better

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  7. Yep, Auntie was right! And to this day it's the big girl (me, the stepmom) that starts throwing the crispy noodles when dinner on the patio is almost done. : )

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