Sunday, April 26, 2009

In the sky, there is no distinction of east and west; people create distinctions out of their own minds and then believe them to be true. BUDDHA

I like to play a game. Out of my mind and body. I will stand beside myself in a group of.....everybody talking all at once, and hear everything. A fleeting catch of the eye, a demur nod of the head, a slight smile or even a guffaw can allow you to have a complete conversation with many all at once and at the same time. Without saying a word. It is music. I love to listen.

Man is inherently evil. My Father said this to me when I was 15. He also told me he was an atheist. (in a minute but hafta say right now, this was horse hockey and STILL causes me to snorkel) Both of these statements brought hours of conversation between us that ultimately created the necessity for mediation. Mom. I won the evil man debate. People are not evil by habit or nature, yes people do bad things. Dad and I got through this one pretty slick. I defended humanity, I disagreed with my parent AND SAID SO.......but, but, I had a seed, a beautiful small seed that grew a gut. This lesson was a Father's armor for his daughter. I trust my gut. My Father won, didn't he? My Father the atheist? OH my gawd! Well first I say, "What's an atheist?" This I hear after I have been on retreat. My poor Dad, wondering what on earth have they pounded into this child's head? So it began. Now I must disclose there was no conversation of Jesus. Say what you must, not open to conversation but yes you are welcome, speak. We did Jesus later. We were after the pure creator. Faith. Where do you get that, where does it come from, how does it work? My Father's disclosure did not horrify me. It completely baffled me. I knew he was not speaking the truth.....but he believed himself. So we argued. I raised my voice, at my Father. My Dad was wrong. I was growing a gut you see so some things were not so fuzzy. After much heated (I was hot) discord, Mucho hot.....So what if we were single celled in the beginning? A slimy ooey gooey green thing slithers onto the yucky crusty dirt, takes it's first breath of air after a rancid mucky burp of fetid water. (omg had way too much fun with that) God did that Daddy. God created. There is, right now, a God. However you color it, whatever you call it. My Father finally conceded to, "OK, maybe I'm an agnostic". Well what the hell was that? Now I'm scared and horrified. This had to be worse. OH.. Oh, ok. My Father sits on a fence. This I can handle, this paints a funny picture in my head and this is still not the truth. BUT THAT'S OK because now, from a, soft, swaying in the winds, a sapling. My backbone. I allowed my Father his fence for a very long time. He was happy sitting right there and I still knew the truth about him. I went on another retreat. Then I started going to church every Sunday, with my friends. Catholics I was a little bit familiar with, well the up and down stuff because I was 5 and went with my Aunt Vicki in Guam. Lutheran, Protestants, Baptist, Methodist, can you imagine having a friend in high school asking if you went to church and then asking to go with you this Sunday? When my best friend got his license we went to a different church every Sunday for long enough. I learned many things. Finally later (years) my Father tells me. My Dad said he had an old medicine man that he communed with. This Old Medicine Man watched out for, protected, listened and every once in awhile gave him what for. See my face, see my eyes as I listen to my Daddy. Ask my Mom if she is a christian........she says, "No, I'm a Methodist" I had no idea how to get into that one????

"The garden is not for us, we are for the garden" can quote me.

Now when you elect me Empress, my first order of business is to outlaw pantyhose. Then heaven help us.

Just as a candle cannot burn without fire, men cannot live without a spiritual life. BUDDHA


  1. I love your Buddha quotes. I also love that your father communed with a medicine man. God is whatever we need him to be. I hate to get into discussions that there is only one god, which does not allow for people all over the world to have their god.

    I go back and forth on the inherently evil v. inherently good because of that whole thing about free will . . .

    Interesting post.

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